Bar Mitzvah! What an experience! It is one thing that will always be remembered as a unique experience for me. My first exposure to Jewish life was after moving to Austin and attaining many clients and friends of Jewish faith. My next exposure was the opportunity to study Judaism in History of World Religions class. Furthermore, two of my spiritual partners, Stan and Mel, are Jewish. For a gentile, I was catapulted very quickly into something I didn’t know about.
The first Bar Mitzvah I went to was at Congregation Agudas Archim with one of my spiritual partners. Mel invited me to go with him and I was thrilled. Mel was also the sponsor of the young man. I was informed by Mel that the service started at ten in the morning, however, that time was only for the religious people, and I could be there about fifteen to twenty minutes past ten. Being late is unusual for me, but I complied.
On my arrival, I was greeted by young ushers. I walked in and spotted Mel. He motioned me over and I stood beside him. Mel gave me a book and indicated the page number. Well, that is when the “difference” began!
To my embarrassment I could not figure out the book. It was always upside down! I kept flipping it over, turning it around, and I still wasn’t getting it. Mel explained that in Hebrew, the writing is from left to right as are the page numbers. We had a good laugh about my embarrassment and proceeded to listen to the service.
I listened and immediately realized that it was in Hebrew, with very little English. I could read along in English which I did and found the Torah lesson of great interest as it portrayed the dietary laws of Jewish life. Finding my reading was much faster than the lesson being read, I had an opportunity to observe the surroundings! As I looked around, I noted that most of the congregation was male and had similar characteristics! Immediately the stereotype of a Jewish male was made known to me, and I looked at Mel, and sure enough he looked like all the rest of them! The few women that were there had same features and characteristics. The atmosphere was solemn and somewhat dark in nature. The congregation was there for one purpose and that was to receive the lesson of the day.
After the ceremony Mel took me to the Ark and showed me the Torah, explained symbols in the synagogue, and answered many questions. This whole experience was new to me and one to remember.
One month later I had an opportunity again to participate in another Bar Mitzvah, this time at Congregation Beth Israel. This time the son of my other spiritual partner, Stan, became a Bar Mitzvah and I was invited to the complete weekend celebration which started with the Shabbat Service Friday. Upon entering the temple I immediately noted the difference between the synagogue and temple. The sanctuary was different, the atmosphere was different, the energy was different. Many women were in attendance, bright colors were worn, and there was happy chatter and hugging going on. A few men wore the Yarmulke and I noted only one man wearing the Tallit. (At the synagogue only a few men did not wear either.)
Saturday morning, during the Sabbath Service, was the actual ceremony where Zach became Bar Mitzvah. Again, walking into the temple I noted the same atmosphere as the night before. Bright, happy, and noisy! The ceremony was similar to the synagogue in some sense, with the immediate and extended family participating in the service by reading of the Torah, the procession through the congregation with the Torah, the Bar Mitzvah speaking to the congregation and the parents speaking to him. The difference was that most of the service was in English, with the exception of the reading of the Torah and some of the singing by the Cantor in the most angelic voice I have ever heard. There was no Cantor at the synagogue.
After the completion of the service, (in both cases) blessings were made over wine and bread before the Kiddush luncheon. The luncheon at the temple was wonderful with traditional Jewish foods (bagels and lox, kugel and latke). They were all foods that I was familiar with, make, and did not realize that they were Jewish! After picking up our food in buffet style my husband and I decided to sit at an empty table with the idea of “seeing who will show up at our table.” Soon three elderly couples sat with us. After introductions they realized that we were not Jewish. The welcome from them was nothing I had experienced before. It was very warm, loving, and spiritual. They made sure that we were honored guests in their temple.
Dinner and dancing in the evening are “something to remember”! What a party! The reception at the Four Seasons Hotel started with cocktails and appetizers, followed by a wonderful three course meal. Seating arrangements were prearranged by the family so we could sit with people we knew or have a common bond. The decorations were fabulous, and a live band played throughout the night. There were approximately two
hundred and seventy five people there, which one hundred of those being school mates (Jewish and Gentile) of Zach. The atmosphere was “high,” with much laughing and dancing. Zach and the immediate family were of great attention throughout the dance
with many traditions performed. One was the Hora where the Bar Mitzvah and each member of the immediate family are raised up on a chair and the guests dance around them. Another tradition was that the father whirled around each of the immediate family member, holding either end of a handkerchief while the guests danced around them. It is not known when these traditions originated or the meaning, but it certainly created a lot of hype and fun.
It is difficult to put into words the feeling I get from this experience. Fortunately, I discussed the rituals that were performed over the weekend with my Jewish friends as well as read about the traditions, customs and values so I would be prepared for the experience. Even so, it was overwhelming for me but in an exciting way. Many aspects of the Jewish way of life portray diversity, joy, and personal fulfillment fitting into a whole life. This experience gives me a better understanding of my two spiritual partners, their way of life, and how they fit into my life. This experience also gave me a confirmation that although my spiritual partners are of a different faith and walk of life from me, there are many parallels, and we are connected by one Higher Power, Source, Spirit, God.