In Judaism, a boy takes on the responsibilities of an adult in the Jewish community at the age of thirteen. As an observance of this occasion, a ceremony is held often followed by a celebration. Now days, this ceremony and celebration are often mistakenly referred to as a Bar Mitzvah. The Bar Mitzvah is not the event but the boy the event is being held in honor of. The word ‘bar’ is Hebrew for son and ‘mitzvah’ is the word for commandment. Thus, at thirteen, a boy becomes Bar Mitzvah, or Son of the Commandment.
Before the age of thirteen, the parents have full responsibility for the boy’s actions in regard to Jewish law and tradition. Once a boy is thirteen, he becomes fully accountable for his own actions, whether good or bad, in keeping the laws and traditions of his community. He is also now privileged to participate fully as an adult, as well. He can be called to read from the Torah (the five books of Moses) and Haftarah (the books of the Prophets), and be part of a Minyan or prayer quorum.
Jewish boys look forward to becoming Bar Mitzvah with much anticipation. Marking the occasion with ceremony and celebration is only part of it. There is a lot of preparation that goes into the ritual aspect of the commemoration. It often begins long before the age of thirteen. Getting ready to lead the prayer service on the day of Bar mitzvah takes time. There is much to learn. The young man will not only recite the blessings for the Torah reading, and read from the Torah and Haftarah, he will most likely give a d’var Torah (discussion on the Torah portion for that week), as well. When the time comes and the young man is called up to do these things, it is called aliyah, which is Hebrew for ‘going up’.
Usually, the parents present the young man with his first tallit, which he will wear during this service. He will wear one now every Shabbat (Sabbath), and often, every time he prays. On this occasion, too, it is traditional for the young man’s grandfather to give him his first set of tefilin. These are black boxes with straps that are worn during prayers except on Shabbat and Holy Days. The boxes contain written portions of the Bible. They are a sign of the relationship between G-d and the Jew. Now that the young man has entered adulthood, his relationship with G-d will grow closer as he follows the laws and traditions he was taught throughout childhood.
After the ceremonial service, a celebration is certainly in order. But it should not be the focal point of the day. That being said, the enjoyment of good food, good music and dancing are to be much looked forward to. It is a good time for friends and family to congratulate the new Bar Mitzvah. It is a joyful time, indeed!